badrabbyt

seriously. there is no blue food. i mean, found in nature. i'm aware there is/ are blue candies and whatnot, and if you put blue food dye into your batter, you can make blue bread - but dude, the ew factor is pretty high there - or blue cookies. and don't point to blueberries. they're purple; blue on the vine my ass. so are blackberries. okay, technically the juice in blackberries is a really dark fuschia. fine.

whatever.

so... have i mentioned smurfs yet this week? no? i was thinking about smurfs not long ago. actually, while i was eating the berries i mentioned briefly in the previous post. because there were blueberries in my fruit mixture, those lying little suckers. anyway - smurfs. in the theme some to that tv show, there was some mention of them being three apples high. i used to be able to quote the whole damn song, but apparently some booklearnin' erased that nugget. have you ever stacked three apples, just to get a visual of how tall a smurf is? i bet that's just me. and dudes, let me tell you... they're kinda tall. i mean, they're still little people and all, but still. for reference, my cat? about three apples tall. on all four legs, not standing up on her hind legs like some prairie dog.

basically, smurfs are not as short as the cartoon would lead you to believe. those three apples? for the sake of argument, let's say each apple is 3-4 inches tall. your smurf would be 9 inches to a foot tall. which is about from my elbow to my pinky (i'm a short person myself) (yes, this has nothing to do with anything. pipe down in the back there. we'll be having a test later). that's tall. how did they hide from that gargamel dude if they were a foot tall? and what kind of mushroom does a foot-tall blue dude live in? i know - they're magic. they use magic to hide from gargamel and live in mushrooms. personally, i think someone chewed through a couple of those 'magic' mushrooms and saw blue people.

and, of course, there's this. it kinda makes me laugh.

i usually care not to think about this, but since i'm here... the one female smurf? just one? this is really horrible, but i'm gonna say it anyway... do they drown the girl babies, like they used to in china? it makes me cringe. okay... after a hefty 20 minutes of research, my memory has been jogged. there was not one but three female smurfs. smurfette, her little sister sassette, and... was her name granny? nana? an elder lady smurf. but still... three females, and... um... 97 males? i think there's only supposed to be 100 smurfs at any one time. i don't know how that works out.

and... who pitched this idea to the network? i mean, how high was that guy? i sometimes watch children's television now, and i try to imagine what sort of drugs the creators were on. don't even get me started on the teletubbies. or monchichi, which no one but me seems to remember. i still have two of those dolls, i think.

wow. what the hell's in this hummus, anyway?

i was going to make a bunch of catty observations today, but... well, i've been boggled by smurfs. again. they are a cultural train wreck. i can't look away.

i've decided - my soul mate will have to announce himself to me by singing their theme song. preferably on the first date. thanks for stopping by.