badrabbyt

you piss me off, blogspirit.

the not-liking-the-bloglines. the customer service that requires me to dust off my french (that's not even a joke, y'all. thank baby jesus for babel fish). also, the customer service that is not friendly, or useful, or... service-y. the random deletion of comments, and the random verification of other comments. the changing of code at sheer whimsy.

the craptastic.... uh... everything.

we here at badrabbyt (okay, it's really just me and the cat) will be relocating this weekend. i have totally had enough.

worthless cocksuckers. which is not swearing at all. in the least.

my ass.

seriously. there is no blue food. i mean, found in nature. i'm aware there is/ are blue candies and whatnot, and if you put blue food dye into your batter, you can make blue bread - but dude, the ew factor is pretty high there - or blue cookies. and don't point to blueberries. they're purple; blue on the vine my ass. so are blackberries. okay, technically the juice in blackberries is a really dark fuschia. fine.

whatever.

so... have i mentioned smurfs yet this week? no? i was thinking about smurfs not long ago. actually, while i was eating the berries i mentioned briefly in the previous post. because there were blueberries in my fruit mixture, those lying little suckers. anyway - smurfs. in the theme some to that tv show, there was some mention of them being three apples high. i used to be able to quote the whole damn song, but apparently some booklearnin' erased that nugget. have you ever stacked three apples, just to get a visual of how tall a smurf is? i bet that's just me. and dudes, let me tell you... they're kinda tall. i mean, they're still little people and all, but still. for reference, my cat? about three apples tall. on all four legs, not standing up on her hind legs like some prairie dog.

basically, smurfs are not as short as the cartoon would lead you to believe. those three apples? for the sake of argument, let's say each apple is 3-4 inches tall. your smurf would be 9 inches to a foot tall. which is about from my elbow to my pinky (i'm a short person myself) (yes, this has nothing to do with anything. pipe down in the back there. we'll be having a test later). that's tall. how did they hide from that gargamel dude if they were a foot tall? and what kind of mushroom does a foot-tall blue dude live in? i know - they're magic. they use magic to hide from gargamel and live in mushrooms. personally, i think someone chewed through a couple of those 'magic' mushrooms and saw blue people.

and, of course, there's this. it kinda makes me laugh.

i usually care not to think about this, but since i'm here... the one female smurf? just one? this is really horrible, but i'm gonna say it anyway... do they drown the girl babies, like they used to in china? it makes me cringe. okay... after a hefty 20 minutes of research, my memory has been jogged. there was not one but three female smurfs. smurfette, her little sister sassette, and... was her name granny? nana? an elder lady smurf. but still... three females, and... um... 97 males? i think there's only supposed to be 100 smurfs at any one time. i don't know how that works out.

and... who pitched this idea to the network? i mean, how high was that guy? i sometimes watch children's television now, and i try to imagine what sort of drugs the creators were on. don't even get me started on the teletubbies. or monchichi, which no one but me seems to remember. i still have two of those dolls, i think.

wow. what the hell's in this hummus, anyway?

i was going to make a bunch of catty observations today, but... well, i've been boggled by smurfs. again. they are a cultural train wreck. i can't look away.

i've decided - my soul mate will have to announce himself to me by singing their theme song. preferably on the first date. thanks for stopping by.

this weekend, i sustained a yarn injury. i wasn't even knitting.

which is totally not what i wanted to talk about. originally, i think i wanted to talk about old television shows, like night gallery and the twilight zone. because i found a channel on the cable that does nothing but horror. and horror, sadly, has never really scared me. but i'll get back to that in a minute.

i have had a bajillion skeins of yarn, just sitting around in plastic bags. i am not a fan of plastic bags. or cardboard, truth be told. i'm one of those annoying people that, when she moves into a new place, has all her stuff unpacked in less than two days. i leave nothing in cardboard boxes. if i need another bookcase or whatever, then... so be it. i procure a damn bookcase. then i break down my cardboard and get it to the damn recycling already.

you can imagine how annoyed i am that most of my life is still in cardboard boxes in the garage. i long to set it all free. and find that one pair of shoes.

anyway.

so, the skeins. i went insane for a minute, and when i came to my senses, i had all this lovely yarn. most if it needed to be wound into exciting balls. which means a visit with sir windy and some chairs in the dining room, if cecil's arms are not available. and since i shot down his hope of cruising IKEA friday morning (i just couldn't hack it, i needed a nap or something), he shot down my plea for a winding partner. so, i wound solo. and i must have wound a metric ton of yarn, because it took a few hours, and my shoulder still hurts. because i don't have a swift - which i will, when i get my own place again - there's a lot of shoulder action as i whip the yarn off the skein wrapped around the chairs, then wind it on sir windy. sometimes, no shoulder action is needed. i can slap the skein onto one of our barstools - yeah, barstools in a clean and sober house. shut up - and, holding the free end of the yarn just so, wind the ball with little effort.

this was not one of those times.

i picked up even more sock yarn. i figure i now have enough sock crappe to keep me busy through december. but... well. one skein of the sock yarn was unaviodable. see, this new shop opened, and i've been dying to go in. it's bad luck to go into a new shop and not buy something, so i had to get the yarn. and this stuff is fabulous. the company is a one-woman army called yarntini. i don't know if it's hand spun, but it's hand dyed, and a lot of the colorways are named after drinks. the skein i bought is called tequila sunrise (if you go to their website, and click on the 'colorways' link, you can see it). and it's beautiful.

the store - twisted - is also lovely. i may have to hang out there more often. they're doing a movie night this coming friday, and i plan to be there. knitting. with the cool kids. i do hope my shoulder is better by then.

so... horror that doesn't scare. i blame this all on my dad, if you want to know. he used to let me watch all kinds of crap on the telly. he did not believe in censoring my media intake. i mean, he never actively let me watch porn as a tyke. but he hid it pretty badly - it was behind all the other tapes. he loved taping movies from tv. which means there were weird jumps from commercials, and sometimes you missed chunks here and there, because he was up getting a beer or a soda. anyway, the adult movies were behind the indiana jones movies. i only found out because, as a young one, i was often told to stay at my own house during the summer. we lived in a really bad neighborhood, and it wasn't unheard of for kids to be shot for screwing around in the wrong place at the wrong time. so, my friends would come over, because it was southern california and we had an above-ground pool - a pool is a pool is a pool, yo - and a big backyard. and a big dog that sounded menacing if people were cruising the house or watching us kids.

but when no one came over, i would bake cookies. my dad had a thing for chocolate chip cookies, and my mom is a lousy cook. over the years, i have perfected my baking, and my dad will drool when i suggest i'll send him a batch of my cookies. i am a pretty good cook. and back then, as i sometimes do now, i needed background noise. so , i would grab a movie. i used to be able to quote a lot of really odd movies, because they were always playing while i mixed the butter and sugars. anyway, that's how i found the porn. it's also how i saw the first alien movie. for the longest time after i saw that, i wouldn't eat spagetti. go rent it if you don't know why.

so... my mom never liked horror movies. they were creepy and gross, she said. but then again, she didn't think monty python was funny. it was a commonality i had with my dad. oh... we used to watch elvira, when she was on public access. i never could figure out how her dress stayed up. or how she got her hair that way. i didn't know about wigs and boob tape back then. anyway, she showed these absolutely insane films. i remember only one with any clarity. maybe it was called the paperclip killer or something, because all the victims seem to have choked on paperclips. but i loved how bad these films were. i still love really bad horror movies (hello, grindhouse!) because of elvira.

the only movies that really scared me... well, back up a second. i used to be afraid of teen movies, but only because they seemed so far removed from reality. but, that was a different kind of fear. the movie that totally scared the crap out of me was the exorcist III. i had never been allowed to see the first one, because it scared my dad so bad he slept with the lights on for a week. although... i saw it recently, and i wasn't too terrified. creeped out, sure. but scared enough to regress? not really. but exorcist III, that was a different story. i was in high school, and i was having a halloween party. my dad thought we should watch a scary movie, and that's the one i picked. my theory was... if the first one terrified my dad, then the third one would surely be scary. there were about 16 people at my house. i was not super popular, but i knew enough people. anyway, only four of us actually watched the movie - the others were too busy gossiping or something. piper, who would later steal my dad's calling card number; zak, who would expose himself to me the next summer in hopes of getting laid; and someone else whose name i can't recall. we were sitting closer to the television, and we were completely absorbed in the movie. so much that, when it was time to wind up the party, the four of us ended up sleeping my my bed with the lights on. i have never been that scared of a movie.

so, a few weeks ago, i was up at four in the morning and alone at the house. i was looking for background noise, and i found the chill channel. which plays nothing but scary-ish movies. that night, they were playing the twilight zone movie. which was not that scary. except for that last part. i remember seeing that the first time, and not wanting to go anywhere near an airplane for a few months. anyway... horror movies are not scary. they are, however, great to knit to.

thanks for stopping by.

dudes... you have to check this out.

so, these two folks break up, right? i know it's more complicated than that, but we're summarizing. anyway, he says she stole the can opener.

hiarity ensues, y'all.

i'm totally playing. are you? come on... you know you wanna.

you know, i've always been curious about this:

what i'd look like as a simpson. hm. not sure about those pants. apparently, skirts are not an option.

so, yeah. i've had, like, zilch for energy for the last five or seven days. i mean, it's been a little on the warm side and all, but really now... should i feel like this much ass? i'm also having a hard time sleeping, which is really pissing me off. because the house is void of people, except myself and the cat. and cecil sometimes. anyway, i should be sleeping like the dead. alas, that has not been the case.

so, i was thinking about all this today. what the hell is wrong with me now? is this a prequel for another, fresher version of hell? it wasn't until about 20 minutes ago that i realized - i haven't eaten any meat for five or seven days. i'm not a big meat eater in general. i mean, i dig the bacon, and i really like chicken lunch meat. but i don't usually eat beef or anything. birds and fish, mostly. and, the last time i had meat products was... uh... about five or seven days ago. so, my body's not quite adjusted to this cold-turkey thing. heh. and the cat is not amused. i'm using tofurkey and stuff like that for sandwiches, and she really wants what i'm having. i let her smell it, and she looks at me like, what are you doing? you have thumbs! get the chicken! i'm worried she's going to catch a bird and expect me to make her a sandwich.

so, i'll be fine once i get used to this. and remember to take my vitamins every damn day. and, uh... pick up my prescription.

today, i busted out the wool winder - aka sir windy - and turned my skeins into balls. a task that would be much easier if i had a swift (which i just tried to look up on wikipedia, but all they had was a bird), or a cooperative cecil. see, skeins are hunks of yarn all twisted up and pretty (see the last post for the aged lush's skein, if you've never seen one before). you untwist it, and roll it into a ball. usually, i loop the yarn in question around two dining room chairs and have at it. since cecil was about, and he likes to help if i promise to feed him after, we looped the yarn around his forearms. it wasn't long before he was complaining that i was taking too long. it takes as long as it takes, i said. and, i reminded him that if cary grant can hold that one nurse's yarn in that one movie, he sure as hell can hold mine.

and cecil said, what cary grant movie?

now, i've no idea how y'all feel about old romantic comedies. personally, i'm not too interested in them. but, i got roped into i was a male war bride several years ago. it was on cable, and i was having a crap day. and, well... i love cary grant. it's not as funny as arsenic and old lace, which is like saying that the star wars movies are better science fiction movies than the indiana jones' movies. when i mention war bride to people, they show me their best blank face. seriously... it's a good movie. go rent it. rent both of them. write it down.

i explained the plot as best i could remember to cecil, who agreed that it sounded great and maybe he could hold my yarn a bit longer. then he asked me if i had ever seen pillow talk. dude, have i. i was expecting something different than what it actually is, which is a romantic comedy. but it's still a good movie.

so, we kinda had a siskel & ebert afternoon. where i found out i'm lousy with names of alfred hitchcock movies. like, what's that one about the guy that kills women with his tie? for the longest time, i thought it was the necktie killer. i... er, just looked it up. it's frenzy, and it's really good and creepy-ish. and, cecil and i have different favorite hitchcock movies. his is rear window, mine is the trouble with harry. and, of course, frenzy. oh, and the birds.

i love it when nature fights back. thanks for stopping by.

my dad used to say that all the time. for no apparent reason. too hip, gotta go. where the hell is that from? is that a hippie thing? he did used to be a hippie. now i think he's a libertarian.

you know, you grow.

lots of stuff happening right now. i bellydanced for fun and profit monday night, so that was good times. i'm getting my assorted crappe together for my school application, because it's due next week. or is it the week after? very soon, let's just say that. so, kinda antsy about that. i have the house to myself for maybe the rest of the week, thank jeebus. seriously... i'm looking forward to having my own place again. i rather like having a lot of quiet. or, you know, my own personal noise.

going to visit moi nex month, so that should be all crazy like. she's even buying a bed for me to sleep on. i... uh... almost gave in to my inner 12-year-old boy and said, for me to poop on. man, i'm retarded.

and... uh... i got a ton of junk to take care of right now. damn patients, what with the getting sick and all. thanks for stopping by.

um...

that's all i got right now. thanks for stopping by.

man... i'm so hungry right now. i came to work early, which means i maybe didn't eat earlier like i shoulda.

and... uh. dude. i'm the man! i mean, aside from the complete lack of a penis. saturday night, i walked right up to the crush and a-hugged him. i maybe took him by suprise. i was thinking later that maybe he didn't recognize me or something, because he kept staring at me. capt. clydesdale was present, and he would ask the crush something, and the crush would answer looking at me. so... i choose to believe the following: he thinks i looked hot, and he couldn't take his eyes off me.

that is my story and i'm totally sticking to it.

hm. let's see... i finished a sock, which is cause for serious whooping sounds. but, as i told moi, i was irked because by the time i'm done with this pattern, i will have made three of these socks. and that makes me grumpy. i'd throw a fit, but my skirt is not appropriate for that tonight. i need something poofier. then i could throw myself on the ground and have a proper spazzing out.

i finished the glovelets for YMCrae, and i'm making a consolation prize with the leftover yarnage. i've been a complete slacker, and taken pictures of nothing for ravelry. or for here.

i think i drowned my roses. they're on the back patio, drying out, as we speak.

i've been reading some books. my favorite thing to do in too-warm weather is turn on the fan, and lay on my bed reading. i read judy blume's wifey this weekend. now... i was not prepared for that. this is the woman that wrote are you there god? it's me, margaret. i associate her name with slightly younger books. and i haven't read her other grown-up novels. and... well, what about that masturbating motorcyclist? see? see? if you haven't read it, that's probably disconcerting. it was a good book.

the book i really recommend, though, is a round-heeled woman, by jane juska. if you're a guy, you may not like it. anyway, juska writes this great personals ad. the book is about her adventures with the med she meets through the ad. it's a good read. i have the sequel at home, so i'll keep y'all posted.

and, i'm re-reading the lost weekend. although, i don't know if this counts as re-reading, since i didn't finish it the first time. but since i don't know where exactly i left off, i'm starting at the beginning.

i'm also becoming slightly addicted to battlestar galactica. the newer series. i must have put it on my list at the library, because it showed up last week. it's fun. i knit while watching it.

okay, dudes... i became totally obsessed with the show carnivale ealier this summer. man, i tell you... getting an entire season of a show at the library is a great way to spend your free time. anyway, it's only two seasons long, and it was totally meant to be a six-season show. however, i knew none of this going into it. so, what cecil and i thought was the series finale? total cliffhanger. those HBO bastards. it's a good show despite that. i really hope HBO pulls their collective head from out their arse and start making more.

... just as aside, i was thinking about the movie jewel of the nile. oh, shut up. like y'all never watched it. i'm the only one here that totally thought kathleen turner and michael douglas shoulda had babies together. uh huh. anyway, i seemed to be saying, "oh, ralph, that is not the sufi way" a lot in the last few days. that's a line from the movie.

and... man, i'm really hungry. i'm stopping there. thanks for coming over. tip your waiters.

so, i'm a dork. y'all know that. and i do like the music. i mean, i like good music. some things just don't fly with me. like that "umbrella" song they play a bajillion times a day on the mtv. i don't get it. people are all atwitter about that thing, and how... uh... rhianna? is that her name? about how amazing she is. i'm sure she's a good person and all, but i don't like the song. and the video is silly. of course, i wouldn't know about the video if it weren't for the swanky gym. which, i noticed tuesday morning, is actually turning up the heat. it's hot and sweaty outside, people are working out, and their thermostat is set to too-warm. i nearly passed out, and it's not because i kinda forgot to eat. i'm totally complaining today.

so yeah, i watch mtv sometimes while working out. and recently, i saw the coolest video i've seen in awhile. the band is mutemath, and the song is typical. i had heard mutemath on pandora (did i not say that site was total crack?), and i rather liked them. and the video... it's just cool. i'd download it, but apparently my web hoster thingy doesn't like the youtube whatsit. so, it's here. and i really like it. whole thing shot backwards. it's nifty.

and now... to change subjects rapidly. i have a lot to say about a lot of different things, but i'm having a hard time focusing. i'm going to blame all of this on the lapsed-and-lying z, as well as my frakentooth. man... the 20th of july cannot get here fast enough. that's when i get my permanent tooth. i can't leave the hole in the frankentooth alone. although, since i keep rubbing it with my tongue, the rough edges have smoothed out a bit. or i've gotten used to it. whatever.

i just feel so scattered. i know this is a reaction to stress. and i know the stress is not knowing what the hell's going on with my living situation, as well as getting into the plan b school thingy. and, maybe i should get my anxiety prescription refilled. i keep looking at the bottle and going 'oh yeah. i need to do that.' and then i do something else.

so... i'm trying to avoid another panic attack where i puke in public, because that's not cute. i'm trying not to expose people to my teeth, because even though i'm pretty sure the frankentooth is not obvious, it feels like a big red neon sign. i'm trying to figure out why, if my haircolor is temporary, it hasn't really faded. and why i now have roots. and, i'm trying to figure out why the hell most of my dreams recently have involved alaska.

although... one of my coworkers was telling me about her dream. she was driving her car on a bridge, and the bridge started to raise for a boat or whatever... and then she was inside a bread machine. yeah.

and, there's this cat in my neighborhood. actually, there are a few. but this one, he has a thing for my cat. and she's just been snubbing him. when i got home tuesday morning, my cat's boyfriend (as i've been calling him) was sitting just off the driveway. i went in the house and left the front door open, so ophelia could go out and say hi. yes, this all sounds like freaky cat-lady behavior, but whatever. that boy-cat is a cutie. so, finally, ophelia goes out and sees the boy-cat. and then she, er sniffed his feet. i don't know what this means in cat culture. but then, she just trotted away. and the boy-cat's all, hey, what the hell? poor guy. i kept telling her to stop playing hard to get. yes, i'm giving my cat dating advice. shut up. and that boy-cat is sans home, i'm pretty sure. maybe that's why she's being all aloof. i fed him and gave him water, because he's very very skinny, and it was supposed to be very hot tuesday. so, even if she's being snotty, he'll still come back. because my crazy cat lady gene has reared its ugly head, apparently.

i was telling cecil about how my cat has a gentleman caller, and when he stopped laughing he said my cat and i were a lot alike. apparently, while i haven't sniffed the crush's feet and fled, i've exhibited similar weird-ass behavior. somehow, it's oddly comforting.

so. if a girl with red-black hair and light-colored roots approaches you and sniffs at your feet? buy her a drink. or give her your phone number. she'll totally make you some cupcakes and a pair of socks.

thanks for stopping by.