badrabbyt - makin_a_list_checkin_it_a_thousand_fucking_times

sorta phoning it in

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:55:00 -0700

whoa. i have go to stop looking at that one page. the one that tells me what google searches got people here. it's kinda freaking me out.

slipknot mask - i have to admit something. i went and googled this, and... slipknot's a band, yeah? i'm not sure how you got here, but dude. get some taste. even alice cooper's better than that.
cats licking butt - heh. you're totally in the right place for that.
donkey skull - no. i have a rabbyt skull... okay, i don't even have that. i'm just a human. a girl human. with a thing for the yarn.
mint green- - mint green what? i feel kinda like this person got taken out before they could finish typing. wow, shot over mint green. but, to clarify - i do not like mint. green as a color is okay, though.
"elephant porn" - you know something? when you put something in quotations like that, it means the validity of the phrase is debatable. meaning, it might not be true. so, was this person looking for softcore elephant porn, do you think? man... this will never die, i tell you.
big floofy bride - nope. never in a million years.
bowie's gnome - do you mean, david bowie? does he have a thing about gnomes, too? it would make sense, him being british and all. i hear the gnomes are huge overseas. i often think about having a front yard full o' gnomes. that would actually be a good theft deterrent. would you break into a house guarded by 80 gnomes? i think not.
cat licking balls - first, my cat is a girl. she does not lick any balls of any variety. at least, not that i'm aware of. and second... why do you need visuals about this? walk down any alley. i'm sure you'll find a tomcat cleaning his nuts there.
celebrity thumb rings - as opposed to, general public thumb rings? what the hell is this about? is this what the kids are doing today? checking out the thumb rings of the rich and famous? why don't i understand this?
chezburger - i don't have your bucket.
demonic toys 1990 - the movie? is that the one with corey feldman? it's in the sidebar. have at it.
dork willy vancouver larry - i know jerk willy. but not dork willy. he's not in vancouver.
drooling retarded twins - i know a few sets of twins. and none of them are retarded. and they don't drool. at least, i don't think they drool. again... why is this necessary?
elephant erect penis - uh... stop that. go to the zoo.
evil gnom- - again, someone got a cap in his ass looking for needful things. why are people being shot over gnomes? and, gnomes aren't evil!
flower vaginas - if you have flowers in your va jay jay, go to the doctor. hope they don't have aphids.
hellraiser decorated room - well... that's just creepy.
hot ass in skirts - hey! that's me! well... maybe not. and i'm not putting pictures up.
humping elephants - seriously. who the hell are you? get a normal fetish.
italian escort redhead - move along, pimpster.

that's all i got today. sorry... my head hurts a bit. i promise a real post tomorrow. but there will be no elephant porn.

thanks for stopping by.

betcha didn't know

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:20:00 -0700

so... i've been doing very little this week. just sleeping later than normal, missing things i'd like to be doing, and reading. and sweating. so, some stuff you may not know about me:

i saw a mountain explode - even though i was born in southern california, we were living in hillsboro, oregon at the time. i have the clearest memort of watching mount st helens explode from the highway. my dad was driving our blue car - maybe it was a ford fiesta? i was wearing a red dress, and i was so panicked i stood up in the front seat. i think maybe we were coming home from my preschool. my dad had long hair. and instead of trying to get me to sit my punk ass down, he slowed down at stared through the window at the mountains. the air in our town was thick with ash for days after. i remember having to wear surgical masks when we went out.
also, i screamed the first time i saw snow - admittedly, i was one or two at the time. my dad says i screamed so loud the neighbors thought i was being mauled my our dog. he was a big, white, fluffy thing named sir christopher. that dog was my first best friend.
once, i had my palm read - i was in high school, in santa cruz, california. the town where lost boys was shot, and also, the town where hippies go to die. which is a little mean,but we had a lot of hippiesin our area. maybe i should say 'the hippies go to die in the san lorenzo valley' because that's slightly more accurate. but i digress. i was a senior at soquel high school, and my friend sara and i had gone to this middle eastern place called 'the oasis cafe'. it was a nice place, but it's not there anymore. anyway, one of the owners was sitting at the counter, and he came to our table to talk. he gave us each a rose, and read our palms. sara had a great one. mine, er... not so great. the guy told me that life would be difficult for me. lots of doors would be closed, then they would all open at the same time, and then they would close again. open, close. lather, rinse, repeat. i would have children, but i would never be married. but i would be loved. and i would live longer than i expect. none of this was great news to my 17-year-old self. but now? a lot of if makes perfect sense. do i believe that the path my life is taking is preordained on my palm? i don't know. but i'm glad he told me these things.
smurfs used to freak me out - seriously. blue people three apples high? and what kind of apples? some are bigger than others. i do remember once stacking three apples up, and thinking well, that's not so short, really. and, come on - there was only the one girl? what the hell?
i've had an abortion - it wasn't a smurf, i'll tell you that right now. during one of my bouts with cancer, i found out i was pregnant. the doctors give you a choice when such things happen - you can terminate, or you can try to carry the child to term. but if you choose to carry to term, you and the baby may not make it, because you'd have to stop all cancer-related treatment. i chose to live. so, i killed a child. this makes me a selfish person. and, it proves the guy at the oasis was right, sorta. i was pregnant, but i didn't have kids. eh, minor details.
i've been in a few car accidents - i don't recall being in an accident while i was the driver, though. but, i did go through the windshield once. that same blue car? when i was in third grade, my mom was t-boned by another car. i was in the passenger seat. this was quite a while before it was illegal to not wear the seat belt. the other car hit the passenger side, and i was launched into the window. my right shoulder was all screwed up, and my head really hurt. i don't remember a lot of specifics, other than i got to stay home from school for a day or two. oh, and the paramedics picked a bunch of safety glass out of my head and hair.
public speaking scares me - i don't know why. so do microphones. once i get started, i kind of calm down. but... well, i'll never be a rock star.
i like older music better than newer music - in the cd changer in my car right now? the temptations, followed by etta james and al green. yeah, there's some ben harper and casey neill in there, too. oh, and dr theopolis. so, there's newer music in there. but i really like the old stuff.

and, i knit. but you really should know that one by now. thanks for stopping by.

random misfires

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 01:45:00 -0700

yes, well... as the title suggests, i have the short attention span on today. which means... a lot to say about a lot of little subjects. and when was the last time i put up a list? it's been too long. and to distract you from the shocking lack of photos, i bring forth the list:

dyed my hair this weekend - that's the big news. it's a temporary dye, so it should go away in 28 shampoos or so. thus far, i've washed my hair twice, so we've got 26 to go. the whole idea of temporary hair dye fascinates me. it seems king of like you're encasing your head in mud - attractive mud, to be sure - and then it gradually fades away. the box called this color 'blackberry'. so... yeah. reddish blackish. i have decided that red hair suits me best. apparently, my hair is naturally the brownish blondish stuff you see in the picture up over yonder. while the red makes me look uber-pale, it does make the blue of my eyes stand out in a freakish manner. and i'm all about freakish. pictures to follow, to be sure.
finally made progress YMCrae's birthday present - about a thousand years ago (okay, it was january of this year) YMCrae had a birthday. and i agreed to make her a pair of fingerless mitts for her birthday. there are a lot of reasons as to why she hasn't received them yet, but mainly: #1 - i had school to contend with; and #2 - i'm lazy. i have started her glovlets, which i think is what i'm calling them from now on, at least five times. and each time, i've ripped them back. they're too big, too small, they look like ass... the list goes on. sunday, i whipped out nearly an entire glovlet. in like, two hours or something. and then i realized - i may not have enough yarn of this color for the other glovlet. so... i might have to visit the yarn shop. oh, darn.
my sock kung fu is on vacation... - saturday morning, i finished the sock i've been working on. and tried it on. and realized two things: it's too long in the foot, and not wide enough in the calf. so, i had to rip that back, also, right to where i started to screw up. here's the thing with these socks - they're being knitted from the toe up. so, i shoulda known that the foot region was too long. i'm not sure why this didn't occur to me. i tried them on, and they were a bit loose. but i just figured it was the mark of an unfinished sock. because i'm a dolt. so, i think i left my sock kung fu in hawaii, which is where i started these socks. but, i know what i'm doing now. and i've made notes on how to correct my mistakes. yay! maybe i learned some stuff!
...but my lace kung fu is on target! - again, eons ago i started the serrano cardigan. and i love it. i even love the way the yarn smells (merino wool is kind of like caviar. but it smells better). and i finished the main body last month. while working on one of the sleeves this weekend, i realized that i should block the body now, because i don't have the space to block everything at once. for the eleventy billion of you that don't knit... you're silly. but blocking involves a wash in special soapy stuff for your finished product, and sometimes a pinning down of said finished object to whip it into a certain shape. it also makes lacy stuff look more like lace and less like knitting with a bunch of holes. anyway... blocked the body. working on the first of the sleeves. looking forward to getting to wear this damn thing before the end of the year.
remember the pink? - last year, i inherited an assload of acrylic yarn from soomeone. and most of it, i gifted to a nursing home. some of it, i kept, thinking i could make it less heinous by knitting it up into something cool. the stuff i kept... well, it's the color of pepto bismol. and originally, it was going to be a shrug. but since i hated it before it was finished, i dediced to make this instead. and i finished one sleeve. this year, i found the second sleeve in my yarn basket (i'm pretty sure there's a doorway to narnia in that basket) and remembered i was supposed to make something. so, i went back to work on it. now, all the parts are finished, and i'm joining them and working the shoulders. i do hope i have enough yarn to make the hood. because i'm not ripping anything else back, dammit.
beyonce scares the crap outta me - okay, i go to the gym, yeah? and they have the little video screens in the treadmills and whatnot. so, i watch mtv and crap while i'm sweating my ass off. and i say this video, by beyonce, called... uh... irreplaceable? yeah, that's it. you can watch it here; it's the second option. anyway... so, i was listening to the lyrics of this song. and... uh... okay. does no one else believe in love, except me? in the song, she's talking about how her guy cheated on her, and she's telling him she can find a replacement for him with a snap of her fingers. now, i get that this is supposed to be an empowered woman. i'm not a total idiot. and i get that she's not going to let this jerk hurt her, or see her cry. but the underlying messages here? that she lives her life without letting anyone truly insider her heart, or her head, or whatever you want to call it. her existence is so cold... to be the person that says what she says in the song, and actually mean it? everything is superficial. no relationship really affects her, because she doesn't allow anyone past all the walls she's built up to protect herself. so, she'll never really feel love, because she never puts anything of herself into any relationship. yes, she might get hurt. but that's the risk you take when looking for someone to share your life with. or... maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic. i know damn well that anyone can hurt me. but if i want to have meaningful relations with people, romantic or otherwise, i have to let people in. otherwise... i'll end up like z. a cold woman that intentionally didn't marry for love, so that he couldn't hurt her. it's just sad.
i totally love the library - it's true. it originally started with sex and the city, which i just recently realized only has six seasons, when i swear it had seven. yeah, a slightly vapid show. but fun to watch. it's the series version of cotton candy. then, of course, was six feet under and oz; shows i've seen and loved, and only recently have i seen the final episodes of both series'. i have fallen head over heels for carnivale. i got the whole first season from the library. i do use the library for books and audiobooks, and the usual stuff. but since i don't really watch a lot of telly, it's kind of nice to get into a television show, and watch a whole season at a time.
dude! visitors! - just the one, really. moi is coming in a few short days. i'm so very thrilled! she'll be here for a week, and we have a few things to take care of while she's here. some thing you can't do over the interwebs.

and that's what's going on ovah here. thanks for stopping by.

lah de dah and a bottle of rum. yeah, i know those don't go together.

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 00:55:00 -0700

first... yes, i'm aware that the picture of my mom in the last post is teeny tiny. it's actually a large file, and i've no idea why it's so small. but if you go into the photo album over yonder, called 'these are the daves i know (i know i know)', there's a much embiggened version. or, you know, you could just click here. and use it for your wallpaper or something.

but, if my mom asks, you never saw it. got it? you know nothing. moving on...

well. so, i visted my parents. and i saw some weird things. and i was barked at almost constantly by an evil rat dog. i have pictures, but not in a post-able state. so, more on that later. in general, my parents are a bit... odd. i think they're lonely out there on their unimproved roadway. they kept asking if i would come back and visit again. like we're a real family and all. it's very confusing. i need to think.

so! instead of thrilling you with a bajillion pictures of trees and dogs, i've decided to have a look at the stuff y'all google to get here. g man loves these posts, and since i need a favor later, i'm prepared to indulge the man.

without further ado... how some of you get here, in order of greatness:

stegosarus: spelled wrong. i'm not a stego-anything. leggo my eggo. it's kind of amazing to me that searches on dinosaurs get people to my homepage. and all because of this. man, i can blame a lot of things on vernal, utah.

badrabbyt: hey! that's me! and i know this is in the top 5 because of moi and her electronic gadget issues. hi, moi! see you soon!

expired nyquil: man, i will never live this down. and, as i recall, my post about drinking expired nyquil was a little boring. and drinking said expired nyquil was far from boring. which reminds me... must go buy moi a copy of that one book.

dr tran: seriously? i think i'm honored. i love dr tran! it's a cartoon, if you're not following events as they unfold. i'd link to it, but i'm such a lazy whore tonight...

dr theopolis: now i know i'm honored. i don't care if you were looking for the band (oh man, do i have a girl woody for those guys) or the buck rodgers character. either way, i'm all atwitter. and whoever searched for that... we should maybe hang out sometime and compare pocket protectors.

clydesdale butt: this is just silly. but it does remind me... while i was out at my parents' homestead, i saw a horse-drawn carriage outside a little convienience store. the horsies in question were clydesdales. and i'm so sorry to disappoint, but i have no pictures of horse's ass around here. yes, i'm aware of all the jokes i could wring out of that statement, but i choose to take the higher ground, for once. we only have the one capt clydesdale around here, and i'm not posting pictures of his keister. and i don't want to receive any. get me, capt?... i drifted there. who the hell googles for horse ass? hm. maybe i dated that guy.

kirsten lincoln: i have to say, this kind of freaked me out. when i was in grade school (mel gauer, yo), kirsten lincoln was my best friend. we kept in touch up through high school, even though we had both moved a few times. she ended up in louisiana - i believe the lake charles area. anyway, if you know here? or you are her? have her stop by or email me. i really miss her, and i'd love to get in touch with her again.

fernando enter exit: the album is enter to exit, and it's one of my favorites. great lyrics. it's over there, in the music area. love that guy.

floatsam: it seems that every month, a variation on this search leads someone here. i think i used the word once or twice. but i'm impressed. unless, of course... you're looking for pictures of a guy named sam, floating. then, i got nothin' for ya.

girl afraid of gnome tara banks: i don't know what this means, but those must be some nice drugs you're on. tara banks is a model, right? i just googled her. she looks vaguely familiar. i have no idea what her stance is on gnome-related issues. we're not close like that. and really... who the hell is afraid of gnomes? i mean, okay. i saw house. and you know what? those are trolls, man. not gnomes. gnomes are nice and silly. trolls will rip your face off. girl, be afraid of trolls, not gnomes. and leave tara banks out of this.

shane cox: wow... when i was in grade school (again, google and my grade school years - who woulda thunk it?) i kinda had a boyfriend, and his name was shane cox. he had brownish blonde hair, i think. he had a bad bowlcut. i think he ate his own boogers. needless to say, it was a doomed relationship. hope that helps.

space-: ... the final frontier? to boldly go where no man has gone before? i mean, that's pretty vague. can you rephrase the question? can i buy a vowell?

"the only bush i trust is my own": oh, that's a book. and it's not bad. get thee to a bookstore. or amazon. whatever. i do kinda want one of those shirts.

abe vigoda is still alive: who knew this was such a pressing issue? i'll throw up a direct link to that. but for now, go here. check as necessary.

anchorage alaska holy trinity receptionist temp: um... try the want ads. but i think they'd want someone permanent. how fast do you type?

auntie's pussy: ... wha? just because i once saw a stripper that looked exactly like my aunt jenny, i'm gonna get weirdos wanting to see an aunt's nether regions? this had better not be the crush...

bad girls cross stitch margaret cho: go to her website. there's a link. although it may be a latch hook kit. not kidding around, man.

bang my ass: pardon? do i know you? and am i to bang your ass, or are you to bang mine? will there be marks? i'm kinda confused (yes, i know this is probably a porn hunt. shush up back there).

brazziers for sale pictures: words do not describe the weird feelings this evokes in me. i... uh... crap. go to ebay or something. and stay away from my underwear drawer.

that's all i got for you. keep googling, and thanks for stopping by.

i betcha

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:15:00 -0800

i was thinking about this the other day. one - it's been awhile since i did a list-y type thing. two - i bet there's a bunch of fun stuff y'all don't know about me. like:

i really like perfume. usually, i don't like it on me. either late last century, or earlier in this one, i bought myself some lovely perfume with a dirty name. a name i can't say now that i've given up swearing. it smelled so girly, and guys that smelled me said i smelled nice (a fabulous compliment i almost never hear). and it was called star f*cker. yes, really.i bought it from some random interweb site that has since gone MIA. oh, well. i now have two body sprays, and i reserve what's left of the star for special occasions (haven't had any yet this year). one is called white jasemine, and it's vague and pretty. the other is called wild rose, and it's some potent olfactory assault. it smells good (i really do smell like roses, and not some perfume's interpretation of roses), and it stays on forever. i wore it saturday night, when capt clydesdale and i went out about the town, and even though my beautiful gray cardigan (yes, i wear cardigans to heavy metal shows; i can totally whup your ass) smelled like dank cigarette, i could still smell the roses when i had gotten home. love that stuff.
i might be allergic to wool. which kinda sucks when you knit obsessively. and i say 'kinda' because i only have an issue with wollen bits on my head. i have two great hats made of wool, and when i wear them i get a rash around the, uh, brim/ cuff thingy. but it would appear the rest of my body is quite okay with wool. my beautiful skirt, which i had to rip apart and am still re-knitting, doesn't seem to make my legs itchy. i tried it on the other night (nearly done, and about goddamn time, too), and it looks lovely. and i didn't scratch myself anywhere.
i love shopping at thrift stores, but i hate the dressing rooms. this has nothing to do with not liking to get naked in public (apparently, i showed a guy my boob friday night. although i don't think that counts, since my brassier was wrapped around it. but that's what cecil said), but rather... well, you don't know where that dressing room has been. i have gotten really good at guesstimating clothes and their fit on me. i seldom pick a loser. i mean, in the sense that it doesn't fit. if you've seen me dressed, you know damn well it's hit or miss with me.
my favorite thing about cheesecake is the crust. seriously, that graham cracker crust? love the holy hell out of it. my mom hates crust in general (not enough humiliation in her eating crust is my guess), so when she would order cheesecake somewhere? she'd eat the cheesey bit - which is nice, don't get me wrong - and would give me the crust. because i really do love that crust. when i have my own place again? i'll buy the stuff to make crust, and just that. yummmm.
i hate chocolate. which sucks if you're, say, a boyfriend trying to buy me sweets. i really have a strong dislike for chocolate. unless it's in my coffee, or walking hand in hand with some peanut butter. now peanut butter... there's an addiction. i'm not sure what i'd do if some guy were to cover his personals with peanut butter. maybe i'd ask his name? uh... yeah. i like the peanut butter. not the chocolate.
i'm pop-culture retarded. the aged lush at work was telling me that anna nicole smith had died. at first - and this is the god's truth - i thought she was someone we worked with. i had to google her to find out who she was. and... well, i'm still not sure what she's famous for. the same thing with paris hilton. had to google her about two years ago, because she was on some television show? and people i knew were asking me what i thought? and i thought she was a hotel in paris? it would appear i'm not so far off on that one. and i don't know what she's famous for, either. although, someone got here by googling 'crotch shots paris'. maybe i should go to mass next week. i feel a burning sensation in my soul.
i have a mutant tongue. okay, quick anatomy lesson, folks. in your mouth, under your tongue, you have a little flap of connective tissue called a frenulum. some of you may be aware of this - boys also have a frenulum on their wang. but back to tongues. in most cases, the frenulum stops about a third of the way from where your tongue connects to the rest of your business in the mouth. mine goes all the way to the tip of my tongue. which is why i don't stick my tongue out at people - it looks retarded. and i can't french kiss, although i do accept others' valliant attempts (best french kiss ever still goes to michael vincent moreno, wherever he is). and it doesn't impede on my ability to do other dirty things. like eat popsicles in a hands-free kind of way.
i strongly dislike tomatoes. i'm not sure how i can even say that now. i despise tomato sauce. i'm not keen on ketchup. and until recently, i loathed the tomato vegetable itself. and for no real reason. no traumatic tomato-related injury in my past. just never saw eye to eye with tomatoes. then, they started to creep onto my sandwiches. i didn't hurl them with great force across the room, as per usual. and when on appeared on my grilled cheese, i was mildly happy. although, still - the best thing to put on grilled cheese still remains spinach. i guess i should be saying i hate dismembered tomatoes.

and that's about it for now. hope you took notes - there's a test next week. thanks for stopping by.

words on a page

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:45:00 -0800

ahem. so, i guess a few of you love that abe vigoda link in the last post, yeah? it's funny what you can find with google. and that's really all i have to say about that.

now, i read. i used to read a lot more than i currently read, but that has more to do with being back in school than anything else. i still read, but it's devoted to my textbook and associated articles. that one about the human brain project (it's a division of the human genome project) was really engrossing. anyway, i read. the amount of books i've read won't fit convieniently in that sidebar whatsit i've got devoted to books. it's like that sidebar over there about music - there will never be enough room. so, here's some stuff that i've read and think other people would like. and, uh... sorry about the white space around the pictures. i couldn't photoshop it away.

i really liked this book. i think i read about it somewhere online, or maybe i was intrigued by the title. it was described as a love story, but i don't really think of it as a love story. it's the story of a relationship between these two people, one of which time travels. it's not science fiction; it's not like he invents a portal or something. it's something to do with his own physical body. anyway, the story is told by both the husband and the wife. it's unique and charming. and i liked that the music they discuss is stuff i really like. i seem to say 'like' a lot. sorry. but i did enjoy this book. it may not change your life, but it did keep me interested. so there.

yes, it's a knitting book. i rather like that it looks like a dominatrix wrote it. actually, i'm not sure what she does when she's not knitting. but there are some good patterns in here, and the how-to section has already taught me a few things. my favorite pattern involves devil horns. of course. no, wait... actually, i have two favorite patterns. one involves devil horns, and the other involves those little heart-shaped candies that say 'be mine' and stuff. ohhhh, yeah. i'm totally going to make those. with my own little zippy phrases on them. one of them may be 'just sayin'.

just sayin.

i have to say that originally, i checked this out from the library by accident. i'm not sure what i thought i was getting, but this wasn't it. then, i had to return it when i was only partway through it. like an idiot, i didn't write down the title or author, and i could only remember what the cover looked like. having worked my way through college at a bookstore, i knew i couldn't go into a shop and say, 'yes, it was a classic, and there were people on the cover in what i thought of as victorian dress'. they take you out back and shoot you, then re-cover the kids' books with your flesh when you do that. anyway... it's kind of an interesting class tale. zola's work in general is dominated by class issues. it's the story of a boarding house and its inhabitants, and how the face they put to the outside world very seldom matches the face that is truly them. it's the first zola i ever read, and now i love the guy. that should indicate how good the book is.

and, this is the first russo i ever read, on the recommendation of a friend i worked with at the bookstore. sorry about the 'search inside' thingy - i lifted the picture off amazon, and that just came along for the ride. the picture i got off the powell's website wouldn't play nice with the programming language over here. so... richard russo is really quite funny. i know there have been movies made out of his books, but i've neer seen them. his writing isn't wee-your-pants funny, but it is chuckle-out-loud-on-the-bus funny. an english professor is pushed to his very limits, which peaks in his threatening fowl. yes. i can't do the damn thing justice, so just read it. it really is a fantastic story, and it's amusing. i guess that's what you'd call a two-fer.

i just noticed that i have none of this man's books in the sidebar over there. which is shameful, really. i just gave moi one of his collections for christmas. so, it shows that i really suck, and i should add more books over there. in keeping with my unintended theme, this is the first burroughs book i read. now, running with scissors is a fabulous and hysterical book. and it explains a lot. in terms of augusten's life, this book takes place shortly after scissors. he's in new york, working in advertising and being a gay lush. i think this started a trend of me reading books where the author does horrible (or, at least, not cool) things while chemically altered. anyway, it's a great book. i wouldn't read this one first, though - try scissors, or maybe his one fiction book, sellevision. but read this one at some point. and definetely read it if you live with recovering addicts.

and since i brought up the addict thing, i read this based soley on the first couple paragraphs. this was before he was on oprah, i think, but it wouldn't matter since i don't pay attention to oprah most of the time. i did happen to tune in when she forced him to come back on the show after it came out that some of his story was fabricated. and really - i don't care. i mean, i didn't read this as a factual account, but as a memoir. augusten burroughs has this great preface on his most recent book, possible side effects, where he says that he fabricates bits and pieces, here and there, to tell a good story and make people seem less stupid. i mean, how can you remember ever word of every conversation from five years ago? i'm not sure that you can. oh sure, key phrases will stick with you. or maybe a talk that changed your life will be embedded in your brain. but, not everything. i don't buy it... sorry. despite all the crap swarming around this book and it's author, read it. it's a good tale.

now, i think i might have mentioned once or twice that i have a bit of the irish in my background. not that you need it to like roddy doyle (he wrote the committments, and i hear a lot of people liked the movie they made out of that), but i think that's why i originally picked up his books. and each one had been a good read. now, i should warn you - most of his books involve gutteral irishmen (and women), so there's lots of poverty and drinking. but really, i don;t know any wealthy irish folks, and i've never heard of any. they must exist, but no one's seen them. maybe they live in the same neighborhood as the easter bunny. dunno. but this is a great book, about a little boy that's poor. der. actually, it's kind of like reading angela's ashes. i mean, they're not the same book, and they're certainly not by the same author. but they have a similar feel in the sense that it's told about a child that has a less-than-stellar outlook. yeah, it's not a happy book. but it a well-written story.

now, this is by far not a finite list. and these are not my top ten or anything. but they are books i've been thinking about recently, and i wanted to share them with you. now, get reading, lazy bones.

thanks for stopping by.

this place makes us crazy

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:10:00 -0800

so, yeah. friday i went to this crazy great club, where YMCrae and i saw a band called ocean 503. good times, although i don't know which i enjoyed more - the music, the drunk white guy that tried to buy the band a round (he was so creepy, they turned him down), the white people trying to dance (yes, i'm white and i can dance, but in general... white folks don't have a whole lotta rhythm), or our clever gay waiter that was rocking suspenders and had a fit singing along with the band on one particluar song. oh, he was fabulous. the bathroom was fabulous - i've never been in a club bathroom that was stocked with listerine, right guard, and jergen's lotion. seriously. i don't use the word "classy" too often, but that restroom was, indeed, classy.

oh! and we saw this guy that YMCrae has seen at other shows. he looked a bit like lionel richie, or that guy from hall and oats. and he was a smooth operator on the dance floor. i mean that in the worst way possible. i mean, he looked like he was ready to go workout - he was wearing these runner-type pants and sandals. and his moves... we couldn't stop laughing. we named him thrusty mcgrinderry, if that gives you any indication of his mojo. i'm pretty sure the lady he was dancing with had wang burns on her thigh from his gyrating. ohhhh.... good times.

double keen with knobs on. ask moi.

saturday, i had a massage (hot stones are brilliant!) and sushi. the sushi was great for a few reasons. one - it's sushi, man. two - the place we went? every time i've been there, they've had sumo wrestling on the televisions above the sushi bar. three - not often can i take a picture of my food, send it to moi, and totally gross her out:

say hello to my little friends. those are whole shrimp, deep fried. i only ate one of them. yes, they still had their eyes on. that's what makes them so creepy and great. the brains were a bit bitter. and one was missing his ass.

and, i didn't even crack my textbook. i did, however, finish the slippers i was making for my mom. that gigantor sock i showed off not long ago? i finished its partner, and into the hot water wash cycle they went. as i said before, my intent was to knit them large, then shrink them. why not just make them the regular size? when you felt (that is, intentionally shrink) wool, it becomes thicker and more dense. i explained it to cecil as changing the molecularity of the fabric. and after about five go-rounds in the hot water, plus two stints in the dryer, i have these:

they are very thick and bulky. they are for my mom, but i needed to wear them to make them comform to a foot-like shape.

they used to be close to a foot long. they are now about half an inch from my big toe. and they are warm little bastards. yeah, that's my ankle. or, my lower leg/ calf area. whatever. it's a view of me you won't see too often. i think this is the cat's line of vision.

usually, wool makes my feet itch a bit. i mean, it goes away after a few minutes, but with these... no itching. i just hope my mom really does have roughly the same size feet i do, and i'm not just hallucinating that. because, as cool as these are? i don't want them. i already have two pairs of slippers. these kind of make me think of norway. i don't know why. it's not like i used a norwegian pattern.

anyway, that's all the news that's fit to type. i'd tell you about the ingrown hair, but, well... that's not right. thanks for stopping by.

workin' my last nerve, y'all

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 03:00:00 -0800

even thought i have bunches of good times to share - moi sent pictures of dinner at the cuban joint (where every-damn-thing contains coconut, blech), i spoke briefly with the crush (hot damn!), had a blast this weekend - i have a bone to pick with humanity. which means... drumroll puh-leese... time for a list!

hurrah! alright, let's do this:

standarized sizing - since when is a 36-inch bust an XL? i know this only affects about half of you, but... can we just have one set of sizes? like, can a size 8 have the same measurements everywhere? and have you noticed that, at least in ladies' pants, some of the bigger sizes have really tiny legs. so, a fat ass and twig legs? i just want to be one size. and i'd like pants to fit my legs and my waist, which never happens.
coffee shops with drive-thru windows - get out of you car and get it yourself, lazy ass.
stop signs - okay, this is the big one. and it really pisses me off. at nearly eight in the a.m., i'm on a treadmill in the fishbowl i call my gym. i'm sure the people walking by love seeing sweaty me up there, trying to lose more of my chub (i will win that battle, by the way). but i have a view of a stop sign. now, it's not like people never walk across this road. there's a transit stop right across from my gym, and people are walking by and across the street all the time. the cars will slow down, but they won't stop. what's up with that? does 'stop' mean 'speed up' in greek? some of them don't even slow down. i saw a minivan - with kids in it - speed through the stop at what looked like 40 mph. maybe not 40, but very damn fast. one of these days, i'm going to stand out there with a sack of rocks and a digital camera. i'll take a picture of your license plate, then huck a rock at your windshield. asshats.
cell phones - could you please silence your cell phone in the library/ movie house/ book store/ yarn shop/ eatery? please? i don't care how popular you are. for all i know, you've set your alarm, so it'll look like you have friends that call you. shut up.
blinkers - just use them. unless yours don't work. then stick out your hand, and signal old school style.
green tea latte's - they look like dead leprechauns. and they taste kinda weird. good weird, but they look like a bunch of little irish folk got stuck in a blender. stop this senseless violence. and go to coffee people. speaking of...
coffee people - i've noticed, like, three coffee people joints closed right after new years. what the hell? now where am i going to get a velvet hammer? i hate starbucks. i guess i'll just have to brew my own.
the president - has anyone actually paid attention to the way dubya speaks? i pointed this out to the conspiracy nut that i work with. he doesn't say, "my fellow americans," when he starts a speech. he says, "my fellow merkins." i didn't know what a merkin was, so i looked it up in wikipedia. jesus, i'm not a merkin. are you?
holidays - personally, i don't think you should get the day off unless you know why it's a day off. like, monday is a holiday here, because of martin luther king, jr. when i rule the planet? you don't get holiday pay unless you know why the person was important enough to have a holiday named after him. oh, and everyone will knit socks.
store hours - i think that yarn stores - which are my own personal version of the porn store - should be open until 10 p.m. and they should open at 8 a.m. and they should carry schaefer yarns anne in the colorway clara barton. because that stuff is totally hard to find. and i need it for serrano. yes, it has been upgraded to a need.... found some online. balance has been restored.

that's not all that makes me snippy, that's just all i have time for. thanks for stopping by. and not just rolling through.

just so very...

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:40:00 -0800

hey, guess what? i scraped by with a very high 'C' on my last lecture exam. i think it's because i was all wigged out about the wrong day, wrong time. i had a whole extra week, and my brain lost momentum. i blame my instructor. next week is my lab final - i know, fuckin already? - and the week after that, my lecture final. so, apparently i made it to the home stretch before i realized i was in the home stretch. and for some reason, that deserves a list. i think lists are fun!
i hate chocolate. i know it makes me less of a woman, but there it is. i'd rather have... well, anything, dipped in peanut butter.
buying a laptop is harder than it looks. i'm not sure how my online quote went from $600 to $1200 before i added extras, but you can bet i'm not buying from them.
it snowed. while i love the snow, some people drive like morons in inclement weather. i wanted to call mr sparkles and tell him heroin was falling from the sky, but he's been clean for a long time this time, and that might screw everything up.
i don't get reality television. i don't understand why y'all watch it.
babies look annoyed, exhausted, and ancient when they come out the normal route. i'm just saying.
i love the cold weather, but it really doesn't like my nipples. this is probably more information than y'all need, but i have overly sensitive nipples. i bet some of you are going to have a hard time making eye contact the next time you see me. anyway, they stick out in a rather forceful manner. i think this must be what it feel like to nurse, ya know? but it does allow me to repeat what cecil said on sunday - "is that a nipple in your shirt or are you happy to see me?" retarded, yes. funny, oh yes.
my cat - miz ophelia - has blackheads on her chin. does anyone else know a cat that has acne? or is it just my weird-ass cat?
i read war and peace for fun. and it was, kinda.
i have a freckle on mu pinky toe. it's odd because it's on the underside of the toe. kind of in that little crease, where toe meets foot? right there. and it's HUGE.
i'm looking forward to doing not much during my winter break. and by not much, i mean an avalanche of knitting, and, at the very least, reading a fractured mind. it looks way good, and mr sparkles said it was amazing. since i own it, i should read it. that, and maybe another zola novel. tolstoy bums me out.
capt clydesdale owns a gun. does that freak anyone else out, or is it just me?
organisms without shoulders freak me out.
the smell of formaldehyde stays with you for a long, long time.
hey ezra - i'm pretty sure you're reading this. just saying.
have you ever been talking to someone, and you become aware of their complete lack of reference? example - i was trying to have a conversation with dude this past weekend (i'm not sure why i bother at this point, other than i live at his house and i should try to be nice to him), and we were talking about mount everest. when i tried to explain everest wasn't in this country, and was, in fact, wedged between nepal and china, he tried to argue with me - "it's totally in montana!" is what i think he said. which is when i whipped out the globe (yes, we do have a globe sitting round the rabbyt hutch) and one of my know-it-all books. for the rest of the weekend, any time he said something that might have been based in fact, he looked at me and said, "right? is that right?" i'm giving the man a complex.

and that's alll i got. thanks for stopping by. and stuff.

the good kind of nuts

noreply@blogspirit.com () — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 03:10:00 -0700

okay, so... there is such a thing as too much coffee. because my brain is currently doing the indy 500. y'know, within the confines of its skull. which means it's time for a list! it's short, though. woo hoo!

i now own more skirts than i do pairs of pants. when cecil asked me why, i told him i look cuter in skirts. "my legs are closer together," i said. "they like each other. end apart legs (aparthied) now!" he shot soda out of his nose. i'm beginning to think he's an easy target.
speaking of skirts, i read somewhere that the average model wears a size 0. are you shitting me? the average american women is a size 14, y'all. that's a damn fact. now, when i was a young(er) lass, models were, like, a size 4 or 6. skinny bitches, but closer to human. and the things that look good on a size 0 wench are not always going to look good on a size 14 wench. so, i think it's a good thing that this happened. how does that song go? "model roll model/ roll some models in blood/ get some flesh to stick/ so they'll look like us." thank you, pearl jam.
the hood of my car has a rather large dent in it. someone asked me what happened, and i said, "a sumo sat on my car." which is not nearly as funny as the truth - a drunk old bastard backed his ford econoline van up onto my hood in front of my father's place. home to the second greasiest chicken fried steak ever.
have you ever heard the urban myth that a duck's quack doesn't echo? well, it's false. my heroes on mythbusters say so.
knitters are cool. either make friends with one, or become one. actually, do both.
not a single person reads my blog at 10 in the morning. i wonder why that is. plenty of people read towards the start of the business day, as well as the end of the business day. i'm still the bomb at 3 a.m.
recently, i gave the snuggler's girlfriend a lesson in fellatio. poor cecil - hot dogs will never be the same for him.

and that's it. i'm sure i've done something exciting, but right now all i really want a nap. my whole life is about getting back to bed. sheesh.

thanks for coming by. if it helps, you're not alone.