badrabbyt

so, yeah. i've had, like, zilch for energy for the last five or seven days. i mean, it's been a little on the warm side and all, but really now... should i feel like this much ass? i'm also having a hard time sleeping, which is really pissing me off. because the house is void of people, except myself and the cat. and cecil sometimes. anyway, i should be sleeping like the dead. alas, that has not been the case.

so, i was thinking about all this today. what the hell is wrong with me now? is this a prequel for another, fresher version of hell? it wasn't until about 20 minutes ago that i realized - i haven't eaten any meat for five or seven days. i'm not a big meat eater in general. i mean, i dig the bacon, and i really like chicken lunch meat. but i don't usually eat beef or anything. birds and fish, mostly. and, the last time i had meat products was... uh... about five or seven days ago. so, my body's not quite adjusted to this cold-turkey thing. heh. and the cat is not amused. i'm using tofurkey and stuff like that for sandwiches, and she really wants what i'm having. i let her smell it, and she looks at me like, what are you doing? you have thumbs! get the chicken! i'm worried she's going to catch a bird and expect me to make her a sandwich.

so, i'll be fine once i get used to this. and remember to take my vitamins every damn day. and, uh... pick up my prescription.

today, i busted out the wool winder - aka sir windy - and turned my skeins into balls. a task that would be much easier if i had a swift (which i just tried to look up on wikipedia, but all they had was a bird), or a cooperative cecil. see, skeins are hunks of yarn all twisted up and pretty (see the last post for the aged lush's skein, if you've never seen one before). you untwist it, and roll it into a ball. usually, i loop the yarn in question around two dining room chairs and have at it. since cecil was about, and he likes to help if i promise to feed him after, we looped the yarn around his forearms. it wasn't long before he was complaining that i was taking too long. it takes as long as it takes, i said. and, i reminded him that if cary grant can hold that one nurse's yarn in that one movie, he sure as hell can hold mine.

and cecil said, what cary grant movie?

now, i've no idea how y'all feel about old romantic comedies. personally, i'm not too interested in them. but, i got roped into i was a male war bride several years ago. it was on cable, and i was having a crap day. and, well... i love cary grant. it's not as funny as arsenic and old lace, which is like saying that the star wars movies are better science fiction movies than the indiana jones' movies. when i mention war bride to people, they show me their best blank face. seriously... it's a good movie. go rent it. rent both of them. write it down.

i explained the plot as best i could remember to cecil, who agreed that it sounded great and maybe he could hold my yarn a bit longer. then he asked me if i had ever seen pillow talk. dude, have i. i was expecting something different than what it actually is, which is a romantic comedy. but it's still a good movie.

so, we kinda had a siskel & ebert afternoon. where i found out i'm lousy with names of alfred hitchcock movies. like, what's that one about the guy that kills women with his tie? for the longest time, i thought it was the necktie killer. i... er, just looked it up. it's frenzy, and it's really good and creepy-ish. and, cecil and i have different favorite hitchcock movies. his is rear window, mine is the trouble with harry. and, of course, frenzy. oh, and the birds.

i love it when nature fights back. thanks for stopping by.

so... i was driving to work tuesday evening, and i heard that safety dance song on the radio. now, maybe you don't remember it. maybe you never heard it. maybe you were too stoned at the time. whatever. i thought about the video for the song, and i seem to recall some kind of old-timey fair. and a midget. the midget was crucial, somehow. anyway, there was (der) dancing, and singing. i don't recall there being a jester, but these guys say otherwise.

that song was followed by that "i can't drive 55" thinger. no interest in that, sorry.

this did get me to thinking. originally, i was thinking that "safety dance" was by thomas dolby, but of course that's incorrect. he did "she blinded me with science" which remids me of the movie weird science. now, that's a classic. i mean, where else did you get to see anthony michael hall with a bra on his head? uh... maybe at the afterparty, i guess.

but movies from the '80s are priceless. i mean, hysterical. when i say classic, i don't mean classic, like casablanca classic. it's more of... well. ever bought a weird al yancovic album? yeah. that's good times. just goofy funny, is what i mean. and, if you're like me at all - and some of you are - you're not afraid to admit to liking them. the weird al music or the '80s movies.

(have you noticed how much i love the wikipedia?)

i mean, not every single movie put out in that decade was gold. but the ones i saw? mostly funny, although the creepshow movies were fabulous and icky. i was in grade school in those days, and on saturdays we would get to go to the mall. this was when i lived in anaheim, california. kids didn't really play outside in our neighborhood, and i imagine they still don't. it's always been gangland. and so close to disneyland!

anyway.

so, my friends and i would either take the bus to some random mall and watch a movie, or ride our bikes along this one aqeduct area to another movie haus. going to the mall was a bit more fun, as it gave us a chance to stare at cute high school boys, along with having our self-esteem sucked out of our bodies by teen magazines. oh yeah, and the high school girls. i swear, they all looked like madonna in desperately seeking susan. they were so pretty, and we kinda loved and hated them. but dude - ten bucks would entertain you for the whole day. movie, popcorn, magazine, and a ginormous soda. and you still had change for the bus ride home. or, if i went with my friend gaby, whose dad hated her riding the bus, change was used on the photobooth for pictures that never turned out. ever. not once.

or we threw pennies at someone that offended us for whatever reason.

in the little neighborhood we lived in, we had our choice of three malls, if i remember correctly. one in buena park, one in anaheim, and i forget the third one. but it was pretty lame, so we never went unless parents were taking us, and staying with us. usually, we went to the buena park mall. now, currently i hate malls. you can't pay me to go in one of those buildings. although z dog loves the shirts at this one mall store, so sometimes i'll brave the stale air for him. but in general - hell no. not for a date with the crush. but back then, it was a safe place to be. we always went in pairs or groups. we never 'ditched' each other for long (that's where you pick on one kid in your crowd, and ran away from them until they cried. oh yeah - i can hear you telling me how mean i am. like you never did it. liars), and we made sure to have a meeting place picked out in case we got separated. at the very least, there was no getting shot at. unlike hanging out in our own front yards (not kidding about that. rough neighborhood).

our favorite was the buena park mall. it was HUGE. at least, to us. and they had an organ store. i loved the organ store. i didn't know how to play or anything, but they always had that guy on saturdays, whipping out show tunes of whatever on the hammond organ. yeah, i'm pretty sure it was a hammond. the buena park mall was especially great by the time we were in junior high. knotts berry farm was literally across the street. and yeah, it's not the happiest place on earth. but disneyland charged, like, $20 for kids (i'm sure it's much higher now). knotts charged $18, i think. which isn't that big a difference, but knotts did this great and cool thing. one person paid full price, and the other got in free. so, you and your buddy pay $9 apiece and you're in. it seemed bigger than disneyland, but i'm sure that's not right. plus, our junior high (south junior high, home of the eagles. our colors were red, white, and blue. because it was gang territory, they had to keep it simple) gave out free passes for good grades. and since i was a nerd, even then, i always had at least three passes.

i still remember going on halloween night with my best friend casey vosar, and having some guy dressed as some ghoulish hilbilly offer to "pick your nose for a nickle." this was when they had just put in the bigfoot rapids, as we were soaked by the time we called my dad to pick us up.

wow. safety dance. memories. and i was just going to make fun of prince and that one movie, summer school. thanks for stopping by.

umm...

remember when i was saying that i'm smart, but i laugh at stupid stuff?

i think this proves my point right here. i've got the giggles. make sure your speakers are on. and look for the easter eggs (hidden bits of interwebby magic).

 thanks for coming by, as always. kisses and such to those of you i know all personal-like.

first, i have to say - if you're here because someone said i was smart or funny, please skip this particular entry. if you're someone really important - like, henry rollins or the secret crush - look away now. if you're here to read about knitting, for god's sake check one of the links over yonder, or scroll down to something more entertaining. i'm fixin' to talk about porn.

because i haven't been a good catholic girl since 1984.

this started when i was driving to work tonight. i was driving down powell, here in fabulously odd portland, and i noticed that fantasy appears to be closed. this would be fantasy adult video - the porno shop within a power walk of my old apartment. i'm well aware that there are many other outlets of adult entertainment about - here in the city of bridges, we sure do love our smut - but i think i've been in that one the most. the former mister and i would rent videos from there on occasion - i think i still have my renter's card... no, after checking, i realize cecil has stolen it. now, that's a good friend. someone who lets you permanently borrow their smut card. anyway, i don't really give a rat's ass about porn one way or another - i consider it a very secific type of comedy. see, i only rented parody films. i'm sure the ex-mister snuck in some naughty nurses when i wasn't looking, but for the most part, if there was bad comedy and nudity, i was into it.

i feel obligated to explain. years and years ago, i lived in san francisco. and the closest movie rental place to my apartment was tower records. one night, i happened upon a movie that was so obviously in the wrong place. it was in the science-fiction area, and it was called "sex trek: next generation". if you're a regular reader, or you know anything about me, you realize that i had to take it home. i was pretty sure i was going to regret it, because it looked like a porno, and i was quite puritanical about such things at the time.

went home, popped the tape in (old school, indeed), and laughed my ass off. it was a porn, yes. but all the charaters were from star trek: next generation, and the "actors" were having a blast. they had to deliver these corny-ass lines, and you could tell they were having a hard time not laughing. one of the best lines - and you know it's good because i still remember it - was when the 'picard' guy says, "i have hair in my ass! where no man has gone before." if you ever get the opportunity, watch it. it's really funny.

i should say that, normally, i really don't give a shit about porn. watch it or don't, it doesn't matter to me. personally, i'm not turned on because those girls do not occur in nature. and no one screams like that when they have an orgasm. if your girlfriend does, she's faking. i'm serious. and they guys are hairy and/or creepy. i mean, what's sexy about choking some girl nice enough - or enthusiastic enough - to offer head? i guess this would be a good spot to insert one of my really graphic sex stories, but this is not that kind of blog, and i'm not really that kind of girl. well, i'm the enthusiastic girl, for the right guy. and if you choke me, i bite. that's the synopsis. and why watch it, when you can do it yourself? i think i mentioned i'm pretty much a DIY sort of lass. it applies to all areas of my life.

and before cecil gets his grimy comments all over my post, let me say that when i say DIY, i don't always mean by myself. christ, i feel like i need purell to continue.

so, i showed this tape to my then-boyfriend, the savage. he was a big fan of all that star trek stuff, and he also found it entertaining. emboldened, we started looking for other parody porns. there was "edward penishands," which has got to be the sickest and most foul thing i have ever seen. and i tell you, that covers a lot of ground. there were the obligatory nursery-rhymes gone slutty. more recently, with the ex-mister there was "the ozporns," which was weird. man, there was a girl in there that had the ugliest breasts in the universe. she had obviously had implants, because the scars were ginormous and very fresh-looking. there was a porn involving marionettes - i shudder just thinking about that one. and we did find the original "sex trek". not as funny - they totally could have done something more insane.

anyway, seeing that one particular fantasy store had closed made me think of all this. well, that and this little tip - if a porn shop is open 24 hours, it's best to avoid the place at 2 a.m. also, the last time i was there, they sold, um, "toys." and one of the items they had was a hand. from fingers to elbow, with the thumb sort of folded into the palm. it freaked me out so much - who the fuck needs a damn hand? - i snagged it and went to the cashier. i asked him what it was for. he just gave me a look. it still creeps me out. i get that there's a thing called "fisting," but this wasn't a fist. and i'm not looking for a link for anything i've mentioned here, except maybe the purell.

jesus - i'm so totally doing an extra dozen laps around the lake of fire. anyway, aren't you glad you stopped by?

and so... i did fuck-all for an entire week! and the best thing? sleeping at night with the window open. man, sunday sucked. because i knew it meant the end of the night-sleeping thing. at some point - i hope by this time next year - i will be sleeping at night again. like, all week. so, that's cool.

and! one of the stupidest things i heard this week, even though it was originally said more than three months ago: "dude, i'm totally a vegan if you don't count that cheeseburger." thank you, cecil.

so, yeah. first, i saw... um... three movies. and they were all good. i saw snakes on a plane (wait for it, y'all), a scanner darkly, and neighbor no. 13. that last one was at the hollywood theater as part of their "it came from japan!" shenanigans. it was bizarre. and , for those keeping score, i brought along a sock to knit on that one. and i kinda screwed up, because i got in the zone with the knitting and the killing (it was one of those japanese movies). but the sock has recovered nicely, and is doing well.

thanks for asking.

okay, now apparently snakes on a plane has been receiving some crap-ass reviews. and i haven't read a single one. see, if i've decided i want to see a movie, i pretty much go see it. i'm a badrabbyt on a mission. don't care if the damn thing got negative stars, or whatever. i'm just not that interested in reviews. i'll read one if i see a movie title i know nothing about, but for the most part reviewers in general can kiss my bum. or, as bender says on futurama, "kiss my shiny metal ass." that reminds me - i have something to say about the older episodes of law & order. why a shiny ass reminded me, i've no idea. but i digress. my point was - don't read reviews too often. so, cecil and i found ourselves as two of six people in the movie house. i guess everyone saw this the week before? anyway, here's what i thought - AWESOME! i have no idea if they meant to make a comedy, but it's funny. and kinda gross. there are these snakes, and they're all hot & bothered, and they do some fucked up shit to the folks on this plane. and there's a boa constrictor - christ! we were the only ones laughing, i think. we were in the back, and there was another couple in the middle rows ahead. we laughed so hard, the couple kept turning around and looking at us. it totally gets two snaps, you know? go see it. fuck those reviews.

moving right along - a scanner darkly. you probably never heard of this one, but i liked it. it's playing at the laurehurst, so you can get beer. it's kinda animated, and it's kinda live action. keanu reeves, winona ryder, robert downey jr, woody harrelson, and, uh, that one guy from the daily show with jon stewart. robert cordry? anyway, they're all drug addicts, and our boy keanu (doesn't he say "whoa" in every damn movie he's in? is that in his contract?) is also a narc officer. there's next to no plot, but it's fun dialogue. and good acting.

and, neighbor no. 13. well, there's a personality split and some torture. some construction, and some scores to settle. see it only if you're obsessed with japanese movies. which i apparently am.

oh! so, the older episodes of law & order. has anyone noticed, that on that "special victims unit" one, like half the cast played inmates on OZ? does no one see that? just wondering. and lenny does rule. him and the guy that richard belzer plays.

so, what i did on my summer vacation: i went to the oregon shakespeare festival. i was told that tickets to the plays sell out months in advance, but that's just a vicious pack of lies. i bought the tickets thurday, for a show on tuesday. and they were decent seats. waaaay in the back, but dead center. i don't have to be so close to the stage that i can see the actors' nose hairs. cecil played hooky, and we saw "the importance of being earnest." which is not written by the bard. but it's still very funny. cecil doesn't "do" elizabethean english, and i wasn't really interested in the plays they had that were shakespeare. we also saw another little play by someone i'd never heard of. but anyway - we were there for three days and two nights. and, if you've never been to ashland, it's okay. you're not missing too much. when i lived in santa cruz, california, i used to tell friends from out of town that "this is where the hippies come to die." seriously - when jerry garcia died? a lot  - not alot, mind you - of businesses closed for the day. i'm sure there was a candlelight vigil or a drum circle. anyway, if santa cruz moved to oregon, it would be ashland.

i did find a yarn store, though. i bought nothing. cecil - who does not knit - bought some yarn called "touch me." he did what the label said, and he had to buy it.

and now, we have pictures:

ballet dancers in ashland. i think i said something like, "so, this is how they party in ashland." this was just before the play.

at some point, there was bowling. and there was blacklight bowling. and there's dude to the right, trying to beat my score.

z, waiting for her turn to bowl and show the boys what for. she's a wee bit blurry. we kicked ass.

this is a miniskirt i saw at goodwill. it's a size 18. let's think about that for a minute. does anyone that wears a size 18 need to wear a damn miniskirt? no, for the love of god. i'm quite a bit smaller than an 18, and i sure as hell don't need to be wearing anything this short. fuck - i'm gonna have nightmares about this.

i'm trying to prove that i don't have the standard buck teeth of your generic rabbyt. but this could totally be my happy face. they're pretty much the same thing.

i love bowling shoes. i totally wanted to steal these. but they might not have been cool in regular light. and i can't just walk around with a blacklight lamp attached to my shins. just not ladylike. or cool.

they sell food and drink, but you're not allowed to have food and drink? it gave me this pain behind my right eye.

this headstone was giving me the eye. so i had to take a few pictures. this one is the best, i think.

i've been knitting a lace scarf - because it's hot enough to melt my shoes to my feet, that's why. anyway, keep this in mind when i show off the final pictures. this is pre-blocked, which means pre-washed-and-toyed-with. y'all will be so jealous when it's done! and, y'know, when it's below 80 degrees.

me, laying in the grass. there were quite a few of these, but this is my favorite. i'm totally cute, right? RIGHT? just say yes. it's quicker than arguing... on this monitor i'm using, it looks like i have chicken pox. but i don't, really. look like i have chicken pox, i mean. sigh.

kisses, and thanks for reading.

first - i finally saw deliverance. apparently, i quote that movie frequently, and i've never seen it. now that i have - burt reynolds is weird looking. especially in a rubber-ish man-vest. i don't know if i can say that i liked the movie. it was an interesting story, well-told with good acting. but the whole 'squeal like a piglet' thing was, well, creepy. cecil and i saw it on saturday at the laurelhurst. the worst thing about it? a couple sat next to us just as the movie was starting, and the man would not shut up. cecil finally asked him - very politely - to not talk, because we'd never seen the movie, and we'd like to hear the dialogue. the guy flipped, calling cecil a punk and storming out of the theater. he came back for his drink, but i don't think he stayed to watch the rest of the film. sheesh. it's one of my MANY pet peeves, people talking during a movie. it's right up there with guys wearing flip-flops and people answering their cell phones during a movie. which a girl did friday night when i got dragged to the new pirates of the carribean.

yes, i saw the new pirates movie on opening night. but i kind of got dragged into it - dude wanted all of us to go see it, and he paid for everyone's ticket. and... er... i don't know why a second movie was needed. and there will be a third. there were way cool special effects, and quite a bit of funny, random bits. and of course, johnny depp plays a great drunken sailor. i predict there will be a lot of pirates at halloween again this year. but the best part? again, the previews. there's a transformers movie coming, y'all. a fucking live-action TRANSFORMERS movie! this time next year. dammit.

and now, some pointless and random pictures:

the above is the bevin tank top i made a while back. it's very shiny. i did take pictures of me wearing it, but they looked really weird. actually, because of the lighting or something, my boobs looked quite amazonian. and since i wasn't trying to shocase those (although i did kinda make them myself), the counter got to model the top instead.

this picture shows the lacey thingy in the front. yes, this makes the top a bit see-through. i got a few double takes when i was wearing it. i had on a bra that's the same color as my skin, and i guess folks were looking for nipple sightings. by the way, one of the best sentences i got to say this week? "you are not allowed to give buddah a purple nurple." how many times in life does a person get to utter that golden bon mot? not often enough, i tell ya. and even less in public. like, with your pants on and stuff.

i made a sleeve to a hoodie that might be done in time for winter. that would be a celtic knot pattern, and that would be acrylic yarn in a color known around the house as pepto pink. i'm not very pro-pink, but i've got to use up the yarn i have before i can buy some good stuff. and someone at work gave me crap. i wouldn't actually go out and buy this.

i don't know how well this picture will translate, but this happened in an eating establishment friday:

that would be the midgeter, and that would be a piece of lettuce hanging out of his fly. i then sent this picture to z with the message, 'look! i'm corrupting your kids!' did i mention i'm available to babysit impressionable youth?

now, for my gnome. he is no longer in the shop, having been liberated on saturday afternoon.

this is the finished product. i painted him with my own wittle hands.

he's atop a bunny (i said this was the bestest and most appropriate gnome for me, did i not?), and this is was the bunny looked like with just his eyes painted. a bit creepy and cute all at once.

and here would be the gnome hisself, with just his face all painted up purty. when he and his bunny were all painted, they got a shiny protective coating.

remember when i said i accquired an official buttload of clothes at the thriftstore?

yes, those are hamsters in their hamster balls. and yes, it really does say rollin' with the homies. i love thrift stores.

there are times in life where technology goes berzerk. those times usually occur at three in the morning, when z puts her candy on ophelia's head, and it stays there for longer than ten minutes.

yeah, where i live it gets kinda quiet in the wee hours. and that candy stayed on her head for about an hour. when it slid off, she sniffed at it forever.

and, almost finally (i went a little nuts with the camera, so sue me):

yes, it's a harley. yes, i know how.

and i'm cute, along with the funny and the harley. which really isn't mine. but i still know how. kisses.

everyone needs a personal entourage of dancing bears. every time you do something good, the dancing bears come out and twirl around. did i mention the girl bears should have tutu's? they should.

so! much activity of very little excitement occured! let's see, i saw a weirdly entertaining movie saturday afternoon called C.S.A. bascially, it was a mockumentary about what our country would be like if the south had won the civil war. as i said, really bizarre. i was a bit early to the hollywood theater, so i park a few blocks away and walk down. i wanted to stop in at that store - things from another world, i think it's called - and go to the bank. so i'm walking, and this guy pulls over in front of me. as i walk by, he starts talking, but i thought he was on the phone. he then starts hoking his horn, and he pulls forward more. now i'm just ignoring him outright, but it did remind me that we do have sex workers in portland that work sandy wearing jeans and converse. i was a tad offended - i don't think i look like a hooker. but i'm not sure what a hooker looks like. maybe i'll just buy a habit and wear that from now on. and i was wearing a shirt that said "lucky". maybe he just misunderstood. fuckin' whatever.

in the really off-kilter news department, i've discovered that miz ophelia (stage right - really, i'm not sure what's with that facial expression) does not like to do her bidness outside. i think she's in love with her disco death star, deluxe cat crapper. anyway, she was left outside for a good part of the day, and z said she beelined for the death star. it's like when you run to your front door, because you have to pee like a racehorse... why do we say that? do racehorses have an unnatural urge to pee with great force? or do we mean pee really fast? it's not really... okay that's getting out of hand. it's best to change the subject...

z's ex-husband threatened me this week. i laughed and told him my snipers were waiting in a station wagon to take him out. at which point he became completely unhinged. i really shouldn't say things like that. okay, he threatened to shoot z - this was over the phone a while back, and it was a very tense conversation. she's taking him back to court to get full custody of her kids, and he keeps saying that she won't ever get her kids. z dog lives with us, and that's a whole other issue (apparently, the ex-husband has told z dog that he wants nothing to do with him). the younger child, whom i've been calling midgeter, still lives with the dad. some of the things he says are pretty weird. about how he's not allowed to eat unless everybody else is eating, he can't have friends over, and his stuff keeps getting stolen. i should record him the next time he tells me about the mexican mafia. anyway, this weekend we picked up the midgeter in front of a fred meyer in sandy, at night, when no one involved lives in or near sandy (yeah, this is really weird). he was standing outside by himself (he's 10, by the way), and the ex-husband is standing inside the store watching. i get out to open the trunk, and the ex comes out, telling me to get away from his son. z rolls down the window and says that's i'm just along for the ride. that's when he turned back to me and offered to hurt me. after i mentioned snipers, he shouted some profanity (whatever - i've been called worse by better, you know?) and walked away. at which point, z dog popped out of the car and ran toward his dad. he came back really upset, and he told me he just wanted to say hi, and his dad said he wanted nothing to do with him. the lesson here? if you're an asshole, don't have kids.

along some similar lines - apparently, roughly one person per 30 seconds commits suicide. i think that's like a world statistic. which means that, depending on how long it takes you to read this, one to three people will buy the farm before you're done. more men that women kill themselves, which makes me think that us females should be a little nicer - just a little.

oh! i tried to register for my fall classes, and i got an obnoxious error message. so i called the registration people, and they reminded me that i have to give them my transcripts first, otherwise i have to start at the very bottom. so i paid a visit to the last community college i went to, for my most recent stuff, and they told me there's a hold on my records due to an unpaid library fine. that was about three years ago, and they've since added late fees and all. fine, whatever. then, i point out i've never had a library card at this particular college. so, i have to fill out a form, and wait. because no address i've had in the last six years matches the address used to open the library card account thingy, i have to fill out another form. but it does explain why i never saw a bill or notice that i've got shit that waaay overdue. anyway, they hope to have it all cleared up by september. i'm hoping that it happens sooner, as i need my transcripts for school before september. argh! i did offer to pay for a rush, but i guess they don't do that sort of thing.

there's more, but holy shit - this is getting out of hand.

and so help me - the next new mom that comes into MY hospital, delivers their baby, then says they're naming the child something goofy like neo, trinity, frodo, arweyn, or madonna (i'm not making any of these up, by the way), i'm gonna hurt someone. my god! that's child abuse! i mean, yeah, a little boy names neo might sound cute right now, but eventually it will suck. and when we fill out your birth stuff? we're laughing at you. you and your baby frodo.

'kay... i haven't posted in a bit, and i have next to no time for this'un. but dammit, i'm a trooper!

first - i totally went and saw the x-men movie, very nearly as soon as it came out. i picked up a friend to run some errands, and one of the things on his list was to see said geeky movie. and it was COOOOOL! actually, i thought the previews were pretty rad. yup, i said rad. i revel in my geekiness. okay, subfirst - the new superman is coming out. i have no idea who else is in it, but check this out: lex luther? played by kevin spacey. KEVIN FUCKING SPACEY! i love me some spacey. the usual suspects? fuggeaboutit. anyway, subsecond, and less interesting, a movie called ghostrider is coming out. nicholas cage, biker from hell. i mean, i'll still go see it, but it was less of a moment than the superman preview. oh, and the omen. don't care too much.

anyway, x-men - you know, halle berry is a beautiful woman. and they give her the worst wigs in hollywood. all that kick ass CGI going on, and they can't invent some cool mutant hair for her? mind you, her hair in the movie? totally just like mine right now, except mine's reddish. however, that is totally not what i look like. sheesh, she's purty...

is it me, or does mystique look like david bowie's evil twin? just wondering... the movie was great, and you should all (all four of you - hey, a field trip!) go see it. i have to say, it took me a few minutes to figure out who played beast. it's kelsey grammar, and he does a really good job. now, having said all that, i know it's a different director and all, and it is pretty obvious. but it was still worth the money my friend paid for the two of us to see it. and the ending made everyone make that groaning sound. not the bad-pun groan, but the 'oh, no you didn't' kind of groan.

and if anyone's keeping score, i did not wear my flamey, drag queen-ish scarf to the movies. although i might have been warmer. jesus, party hats all around, i'm telling you.

let's see... there's actually quite a lot to tell, and i'm shortish of time. mr sparkles turns 25 today, but we had a birthday dinner for him on wednesday, because he's off to peru. he moved from there when he was 14, and now he goes sometimes with his grandmother. she buys random stuff there, and sells it on ebay. he goes with as her assistant. i asked him to get me some alpaca yarn while he's there. i'll be thrilled if he remembers, and even more thrilled if he gets enough of one color to make something fabulous.

speaking of my obbsessive hobby... been knitting like a fiend, but i've yet to take pictures of anything. and since this is technically not a knitting blog, i figured that only a few people would mind (like christine, you sexy you!). so, if you're interested, you'll have to hitch up yer trousers for a bit longer.

we have a temporary dog. z found it playing frogger on a major street near our homestead, and she coaxed it home with corned beef. no one has claimed her yet, but i'm totally sure it won't be long. if you're missing a golden lab, about two years old with a purple collar, leave me a message.

and now i'm officially out of time. but i have a gnome picture to share, if it's any consolation:

do you know the capital of malta? it's valetta, i think. see, i've been quizzing z dog for a geography test. apparently, he bombed a test last week, and so he has a chance to do it over. which meant a lot of flash cards involving national capitals and such. and it involved me giving him mnemonic devices to help him out. when i was a kid, i remembered the capital of belgium by thinking, "belgium waffles and brussel sprouts." and hungary was pretty easy - it's budapest. see, budda's a fat man. cuz he always hungry. yeah, i'm full of useful shit like that. anyway, i did manage to get away from playing school marm to watch 'the notorious bettie page.' i think bettie page is cool, and the movie was pretty interesting. i saw it with my flower friend, and he said it was boring. i'm not sure if he was expecting car chases, or explosions or something. it's not the hong kong cinema version of the bettie page story. sheesh. oh! aaand, i saw one of the most retarded movies in cinematic history. it wins that award not just because it features corey feldman (y'know, the kid from goonies). it's called 'puppetmaster vs. demonic toys.' i meant to bring the dvd box with me, because the description on the back made me lose my shit in the video store, and i wanted to recreate that excitement for my two readers. it was wrong, it was retarded, and i secretly loved it. i do enjoy a good crappy movie. i also rented 'fear of clowns,' which i don't recommend. it was like watching someone's bad home movies, complete with shit sound.

i've finished a few knitting projects, but i've yet to take pictures of them. i know, i suck. but i'm totally thrilled with my handiwork, so even if you don't give a tinker's cuss (as my dad would say) about knitting, i'm still going to subject you to it. suck it up, i say.

have i mentioned captured by robots? they're coming....

and i signed up for summer school. aaaand i figured out what my next degree is going to be. cupcakes all around (mmmm, cupcakes)! so , summer school. i'll be taking pilates and bellydancing. because i still haven't reached my weight goal, and they sound like fun. more on that when the newness of it has worn off, and i'm bitter that i'm spending valuable summer time (and moneys) indoors. i still need to register for fall, which will be anatomy & phisiology (once more - my previous a&p is too far back to count), and some other course i haven't picked out. maybe photography, or more pilates. but my major. drum roll please.... radiology. i know i said earlier that i wanted to go into surgical services, but after talking to the folks over in that department of the hospital i work at, it doesn't sound like it's for me. i don't get to hack people open, bascially, and that's what i was hoping for. yeah, i'm a sicko. i'm in the right field. so anyway, i was talking to a career counselor, and telling her that i love medicine (kinda) and i love photography. she gave me this, "you're stupid" look, then asked me why i've never considered radiology. er, cuz i'm dumb for a genius? it makes complete sense now (taking pictures of people's insides), but i just never thought about it. anyway, i'm jazzed. i can't start the 24-consecutive month program until fall 2007, and a lot can happen between now and then, but that's my game plan. really, i'm psyched.

and finally, i've been searching for my own personal robot army. i really want a bunch of wind up robots, and for no real good reason. when i went to the movies, i passed by a store called things from another planet. i think my army can be found there.

yes, it's my damn scarf again. i look a bit drag queen-ish, but that't what happens when you make a scarf in the near summer. drag queen-itis.

and that's how i feel about foreign movies. i fell into one on IFC (that channel is total crack, and i'm hooked), about a economics student studying abroad in barcelona. he's from paris, i think, and he picks up spanish pretty quick and rents a room in a flat with other exchange students. at the end of the movie, he gets his degree, gets a good government job, and freaks out. he decides to write a book instead. i'm not truly doing it justice, but it's a cool movie. plus, it's got that girl from "amelie" in it, as his uptight girlfriend. and i'm pretty sure the nutjob from "high tension" was in it, also.

my massage on friday was great. i fell asleep in the car on the ride back. and we didn't get to take z dog to OMSI, because they have odd hours. like, they were only open until 530 friday afternoon. so, i snuck out to mock crest to hear some music. saturday, i was accompanied by cecil to the hesse exhibit. it really didn't gun my motor the way i wanted it to, but that's how life rolls sometimes. however, i did see the mezzotint display they had sequestered in the basement. that was hot shit. they're basically metal engravings, for lack of a better description. but the pieces had so much depth and detail, they looked like sketches. the midwife had warned me about the mezzotints, calling them the s & m sect of the art world. truly appropriate, considering how much manual labor goes into each piece. i cringed when i heard a lady refer to them as "paintings." i read the info thingy on the wall, about the process of making the prints, and how much work it takes. i just wanted to yell at her. but cecil dragged me away before i could get at her. it's just as well, really.

i did my best to stay out of the house this weekend. not because i think i'm being a homebody, but because dude was there, and he and z were arguing for the better part of 3 days. jesus, if that's what it's all about, i don't wanna. yeah, they had issues to discuss. but is it necessary to raise your voice over it? is that going to solve anything? i have a problem with yelling. i don't think it's effective.

sunday i saw "aeon flux" at the kennedy. every time i go there, i'm reminded of how much i love it there. couches instead of seats! yay, promotions all around! and beer. things are good at kennedy school. i should make a habit of that. i mean to.

friday morning, i was psychoanalyzed by the midwife. i'm not sure that all of what was said belongs here, but the gist of it is - i'm terrified of meeting another savage. which is why i have panic attacks in public. i've been using boyfriends as 'gatekeepers' for lack of a better term, between me and the rest of the world. i met the savage when i was alone, and subconsciously i fear meeting another one. so i hung out with the dirt biker, who was quite protective of me, even though he took every opportunity to chase skirts. then i got involved with the mister, who would introduce me to people and say things like "he's okay," or "she's cool." like people who wouldn't try to break my skull were preapproved credit cards. and now that i'm single? i'm freaking out at the idea of meeting people i don't know WHO COULD KILL ME. which i think is why i've been hanging out with cecil so much. again, protective buffer-type person. i don't want to use anyone like this. i want to be a non-buffer kind of girl. the midwife thinks that by taking anti-anxiety pills, i'm going to lose the sensation and meaning behind my stress, and i won't deal with like i need to. i think it's like fine tuning the stress - if i'm not freaking out, i can deal with the mental issue still at hand. the medication works okay, but not great. and that's what i want. i might have to take a higher dose, but overall i just want to turn down the volume. i don't want to press 'mute.' anyway... that's the nutshell of the four-hour powwow we had instead of working. it was good, even if we didn't agree on our methods.

now, i plan to bask in the weird glow i get from paying all my bills and having little left over. not kidding, this is the best feeling right now.